Here's the deal; He lives in South Brunswick, and I'm from Edison. On a good day it takes me about 20 minutes to get there. Other days with traffic it can take up to like 45 minutes. We both have really busy schedules, well him more than me. He works Monday Wednesday Thursday and Friday. On Tuesday's he has a night class. So that leaves only Saturday and Sunday's to spend time with each other. I feel like I'm in a long distance relationship, and it is just so hard not seeing him. I know he feels the same way, but sometimes I feel like he doesn't try as hard as I do, which is frustrating.
But, I also have this way of pushing him away, when I need him most. I guess I'm just a very difficult girl, who pretty much needs to chill the hell out. I'm always constantly thinking of the future and not the present day I suppose. Look at me, it's only Monday and i'm already freaking out about the weekend.
See this is what is going to happen this weekend. His sister Beth is having a baby! Which is amazing, and the baby shower is this Saturday at 1:00. It's at a restaurant somewhere in South Bruns. and I took off of work, so i don't have to deal with being late and all that jazz. (And I have to go shopping for the baby and myself also tomorrow!) So after the baby shower, I'll be at his house all night. But he wants me to stay over which I most likely won't do because Beth and her husband Jay will be staying over, and Kelly's coming home too. Which means I'll have to sleep in the basement and just be a burden, so I don't want to.
And on Sunday, he had already warned me last weekend that he was going to go to his friends house to watch stupid wrestling. Which I don't understand why he still watches it, it's so dumb and fake. But I'm just upset about it because it's our day to be together. And now I'll only have a few hours with him when we usually have all day. Ugh. It's so frustrating and hard to handle sometimes, it's emotionally draining not being able to be with the one person you want to be with the most.
Maybe I should stop being so selfish? I mean that is how I feel sometimes, because he doesn't see his friends much. But then on the other hand, I don't even see my boyfriend, so why should I be knocked down to only seeing him one day out of the 7 days out of a week?! I don't know.. But what I do know is that I am absolutely in love him, and I don't want to mess this relationship up..
No comments:
Post a Comment